The Invisible Audience

As a kid I remember my first “gig”. I was so nervous, I thought I might puke. If you saw how excited I was you would have assumed I was performing at a 20,000 seat arena. But the truth is, it was just a backyard. Sitting behind an average suburban home in an average neighborhood. The yard was unkept. The lawn was a mix of weeds and dirt. The bushes were dry and overgrown. The concrete patio was cracked and missing pieces in the corners. The back fence along the property line was barely standing, bending forward in some areas and backward in others. That said, it still felt like I had hit the big time. I was so young and so naive, but my immaturity enabled me to see this very average opportunity as a night I would never forget. Oh to have those childlike eyes again.

I would go on to play the electric bass guitar at countless backyard parties. Community centers, underground clubs, VFW halls and more. I had found my passion and my joy. Unfortunately I had also found methamphetamine and eventually traded my passion for the slavery of addiction. 10 years later I would surrender my life to Jesus Christ and begin serving Him and others with the only gift I had… music.

For the past 27 years and counting I have taken music into every area of Christian service I have been called into: Praise and Worship Team; Worship Leader; Worship Pastor; Church Planter; Evangelist; Community Outreach; Men’s Ministry; Prison Ministry; Celebrate Recovery; Veterans Ministry; NASCAR; Youth Ministry; Recording Artist; Songwriter; Speaker; Couples Ministry; Food Banks; Homeless Ministry; Memorials; and so much more. Outside of the recording studio, I primarily served LIVE and in person. There’s something very special about stepping up to the mic without a safety net. Trusting God to use you in spite of your sinful nature, flawed humanity, and in my case, untrained abilities. Knowing that at any moment He could move through you and change everything in a person’s life, making your voice His own. And through it all, you have a front row seat.  And even after all these years, I’m still overwhelmed and humbled when I see the look on the faces of the people when they encounter Him. Our great God at work in the earth. His super meeting our natural. Heaven touching Earth. Oh the things my eyes have seen. And all of that brings me to this blog. To the invisible audience. To 2020.

Like so many others around the world, COVID-19 took me by surprise. I was totally unprepared for the closures, restrictions and lock downs. Like many of you, we felt its impact in several areas of our lives, however I’d like to focus here on just one. By mid-March of 2020 I started experiencing cancellations on my ministry calendar. Mens conferences, prisons, NASCAR races… one by one we sadly watched them go. As the uncertainty reached a fever pitch I received an invitation to record some video footage from my home to be used in an Easter program that our friends at Prison Fellowship were producing to be streamed into several prisons across the country. I was so grateful to get the call, I immediately accepted. The next day I realized I had just agreed to do something I had never done before. Yes, I panicked. My saving grace was that I had ‘seen’ it done many times before, and God has kinda gifted me in this area. Let me explain…

In my early teens I had a friend named John. He and I were in a band together. John was older and he had a driver license. He drove a red, lowered mini-truck and was always our primary source of transportation. He’d drive us to gigs or parties, or to just hang out. Anyway, I often found myself riding shotgun in the front seat. John’s truck had a manual transmission, or as its better know, a stick shift, and I had subconsciously watched him operate the gears hundreds of times. It’s worth mentioning, he had never given me a lesson and I had never intentionally observed him driving in an attempt to learn. Now fast-forward a few years. I went to buy my first car; a used car I found in an auto trader mag. I knew nothing about cars and I didn’t even have a driver’s license. I was drawn to this particular car because the price and mileage was right, and it was being sold by a private party. A friend of mine came along to make sure it was mechanically sound. When I slipped into the front seat I had a rude awakening… it was a stick! My insecurities and pride ran so deep that I was embarrassed to admit to my friend that I did not know how to drive a stick, so I didn’t say a single word about it. He signed off on the vehicle and the seller was ready to go. All eyes were on me, so I pulled out the money and made the deal. With keys in hand I got behind the wheel. My mechanic friend had driven us there, so he climbed into his car and drove off. The seller walked back into his house and there I was, sitting in the car in his driveway. I had got as far as putting the key into the ignition and froze. There was no turning back now. I pushed in the clutch and started the engine. I pulled the stick to the right and down like I had seen John do a thousand times. I slowly let out the clutch, and the car stalled. I went through all the motions again, and this time the car started to reverse down the driveway and didn’t stall. I drove that car all the way back to my apartment, over an hour away.  I never had any issues driving that car or any manual transmission from that day forward.

Now back to the Prison Fellowship gig. I had ‘seen’ video production performed many times. I’d appeared on television shows on TBN, TBN Salsa, HBN and other networks. I had been in front of the camera for music video shoots and other pre-recorded performances, and I’d participated in interview pieces as well. As a matter of fact, members of Prison Fellowship’s production team had just shot some interview and performance segments earlier in the year. Unlike that day with the stick-shift, I asked their production team for some advice AND I prayed. I had never been behind the camera, but I was confident I had observed enough to pull this off. My nerves were getting the best of me as I was fairly certain I wasn’t well equipped. My only camera was the one on my phone. And I had no idea about settings, lighting or sound. I was no stranger to recording my singing voice, but had no idea about tracking my speaking voice. I quickly realized that if I wanted to create quality content for this project, I had a ton to learn.

I did the very best I could with my limited resources and tight time frame. The event was a success; as God used it to bring hope to thousands of inmates struggling with the uncertainty of the global pandemic unfolding outside the prison walls. Soon after that I was called upon for a few more projects, including some music that our friends at MRO were going to be streaming for a NASCAR community, race-day chapel. At this point I had a few of these video projects under my belt and they left me painfully aware that I was missing LIVE ministry.

Serving an invisible audience was way more challenging than I had thought. I couldn’t see their faces or look into their eyes. I was missing that personal connection and it was only the beginning of the pandemic’s uncertainty. I was also juggling the awkward feeling of looking into the camera and speaking. If you’ve never done this, trust me when I say, it takes some getting used to. It felt like a spiritual attack as I tried to assure myself that I was being my authentic self and not “acting” for the camera. It was really weird you guys. It literally took me months to get past these hurdles of insecurities and to a point of boldly walking by faith into this space far outside of my comfort zone.

I’m approaching the 1 year mark since the winds of change came blowing through our camp. Video is still very much a viable ministry resource as the effects of the pandemic are still limiting the ministry’s reach. I have since invested a lot of time, money and bandwidth into learning how to navigate this media platform and operate the gear and software we invested in. Don’t ask me how many YouTube videos I’ve watched on the subject.

In 2021 you’ll see a lot of video content coming from us. From pre-recorded programming to LIVE streams. We’ll be investing a lot into our YouTube presence as well as streaming a ton on social media platforms. We’re also thinking God might use all of our newfound knowledge and resources to produce content for others.

Friends, the music still matters, the Gospel is still good news… and the invisible audience is still out there. Watching. Seeking. Hoping. We humbly ask you to please pray for all of our video efforts. We need HIM desperately, as we are still committed to the cause of Christ, to reaching the lost, and to preparing His bride. God bless you guys! ~ra